What Makes Marvin a Great Father?!

I am a member of a blog all about multiples. I really didn't realize there was an exclusive club until we were members of it! The Blog is called Multiples and more(you can see their button on my sidebar!) and they just started a new blog carnival to answer their question of the week each Sunday. This happens to be the kickoff and I am so excited about this one! In honor of Father's Day, the question is what makes Marvin a great father? Oh man, I thought, THIS one is going to be easy! The answer is what doesn't?! I married the perfect man(okay, most of the time;))! It is really hard to narrow it down to answer in a way that won't take until next year! But, I'll try my best to keep it short and sweet!


1) No matter how tired he is after a crazy day(sometimes being awake for 48hours+), he is never too tired to wrestle with our boys. Sometimes he just lays on the floor and lets them pummel him, but they are SO excited and love every minute. I think roughhousing is one of their love languages and he speaks it to them loud and clear!


2) He has SO much patience it almost drives me insane! Just kidding...kind of! Marvin is the most easy going, merciful man that I know. He balances me out perfectly. That is not to say that he lets our children run crazy. He gives discipline when needed, but he excels at giving grace when appropriate.


3) I am totally melted into a pool of mush when I catch a sweet moment between him and our girls. Often I'll catch him singing quietly and dancing with one or the other(or both and that is a sight!) as if nothing in the world is more important to him than that moment in time.


4) I love the way he teaches our boys so patiently. Whatever he is doing whether it be grilling or changing oil or cleaning out the car, he is willing to slow down and involve them in it. I get very caught up in the getting things done while he sits back and enjoys the actual doing with them. I can see the pride in my sons' eyes when they succeed at something their Abba is teaching them and he gives them praise.

5) He is willing to do things that may not be "manly" or easy. Things like washing dishes, folding clothes, even cooking sometimes to help lighten my load. Those things are not beyond him and he has a willing servant's heart. He is also most willing to step up and do things that aren't enjoyable for him to benefit our family!

Here he is FREEZING as he tries to get water in our RV for our Christmas trip. The poor man was an ice cube before he was done, but he smiles right through it!

The biggest reason he is such a great father to our children is that he loves their mother(that would be me!) with all that he is. And let me tell, THAT is not always an easy thing to do! As much patience as he has for our children, he has for me as well. I am so thankful that our children have such a great example to follow. Our sons are learning how to be gentlemen in every sense of the word and our daughters are learning how to be loved by their husbands in the future.

God has truly blessed me with the best husband I could ever ask for and the best father any child could hope for!

Trust

Thankfully, our house is filled with much joy and laughter with 5 of the most hilarious little people ever living under our roof! During their wake times, it is really easy to ignore the hurt and focus on joy. It is really almost impossible not to. And then there are the times that the house is painfully quiet. Times that Marvin and I get a moment to think, pray, come together and bring our hurts to Lord and try to leave them at His feet. Let me tell you, those quiet times have been very hard the last few days. It is a continuous struggle to lay our burdens at His feet and lean into His arms and to trust Him with our children. It is hard to remember that He is Faithful when facing trials and hurts, it is not that I do not KNOW that He is faithful, it is just that I don't always FEEL that He is. Does that make sense? I think it is so much easier to go through something myself than it is to know my child will. It is very hard to praise God for my child's suffering. I know that He has promised to work ALL things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I TRULY believe that. I truly believe that God WILL work even this for good. That said, it breaks my heart that my precious little boy has to go through hardships in the process of that good. God is reminding me that this life is but a fleeting moment in eternity. We don't know how much Autism will effect Josh in the span of his life here on earth. Maybe a lot, maybe not much at all. We don't know how much he will truly know love and be able to love in return during his life here. I can deal with the tantrums, the lack of communication and eye contact, and quirkiness. It breaks my heart to think he may not understand and know how much we love him. What I do know for certain is that we will do everything we can to get through and pray he will live a fairly normal life full of love and loving others. I also know that at the end of this time here, he will be made whole and complete and WILL know love and love fully when he is face to face with our Savior and THAT will last for eternity!

Those that know me well, know that in my times of darkness, I turn to music to minister to my heart and soul. I read and pray, but there is something about singing to and about God with all that I am that breaks through my barriers like nothing else. Those that don't know that about me, well, you just learned something new! I cannot sing to save my life, but I am sure that my God doesn't care!!!! During these last weeks, I've done something that I swore I'd never do! I've added music to this blog! GASP! I know, desperate times call for desperate measures! I added songs that are truly ministering to and reminding me who my God is and what this life is all about! FYI, it is not to be happy and comfortable! It is to glorify my creator and I will choose to do this full of praise. No matter my circumstances, GOD HAS NOT CHANGED!!!!!!!!!! He is still the most AWESOME God and I will choose to praise Him and to trust Him. His love is still here, and is what will bring us all through this with great joy!

Autism...

That is never a word that I thought much about. My heart went out to other families that had children with Autism, but I never really understood. I'd pray for them as I was aware of a need and then go on with my life. I never really expected to be so closely touched or what that small word actually means. We took Joshua in for his appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician today. I have known that Josh had issues from the time he was a bitty baby, especially after his most recent trouble. However, I was hoping that it was all in my head, as my husband has lovingly suggested each time it has been brought up. My head knew he had Autism, after all he has been treated for "Autistic tendencies" even before he was 2 years old. But my heart would argue that he was just a little quirky, that he is "normal" and will go through life with no more difficulties. My heart was broken today as we sat in the doctor's office and she confirmed what my head already knew. Josh now carries with him an official diagnosis of Autism.

So, many wonder what that means and how it came about. I thought I'd cover a little bit about how our Doctor made this diagnosis and explain a little bit more what happens now(I say a little bit because my head is reeling from all the info that has been thrown to me today!). If you are bored, I won't be offended if you want to move on;). But I thought this would be a good place to put it all out there and hopefully not have to go over the same questions over and over. Although, if something is not answered here, we are very open to answer any questions! Much of this has already been covered in other posts, but I thought it would be good to have it all in one place for me. Like I said, I'm a basket case right now!

I began seeing things that were not right very early in Josh's life. My mommy gut kept telling me something was not right and it kept going back to Autism. I kept reasoning away behaviors and explaining actions, trying to quiet that darn mommy voice. It would work for a bit, but never for long, it kept coming back. His Pediatrician at the time kept putting it off, saying that we should wait, he is slow and he'll probably catch up. When he wasn't talking AT ALL, interacting with us, or even attempting to walk at his 18 month well baby, she agreed that the time for waiting was passed. We began evaluations which led to 5 hours of therapy a week and endless working at home as well. This was a great time as he responded very well to therapy and began saying words, walking, and even playing and laughing with us. So much happened all at once. We were so excited to see such an awesome improvement in only 6 months or so. My Mommy voice was quieted once again. We had to suddenly move 9 months after the therapy started. I was nervous about not having therapy as we would not be in one place long enough to even be seen for evaluations, much less start actual therapy. I continued to work with him, carrying on what we had been doing and he continued to thrive. My mommy voice was still whispering, but small enough that I could ignore it. He was okay, he had Sensory Processing Disorder, but so did Michael and we worked through it, we can do it again! Fast forward to getting here. That mommy voice was almost quieted until this last sickness and then it started screaming at me in tones I could no longer ignore. We saw our regular Pediatrician, who agreed that Josh at the minimum met the requirements to be seen by the Pediatric Developmental Specialist. I filled out about 100 pages of history and questionnaires. Today I brought Joshua in to be evaluated in the flesh. She explained how they diagnose Autism in depth and answered my questions. I really like the way she broke it down for me, so I'll try to put it down here just the way she said it. Autism is like pizza. Every pizza has 3 main parts(crust, tomatoes, and toppings). There are lots of different pizzas, some with spices, some with tons of toppings, others with only cheese...but they are ALL pizza if they have those three parts. Crust is made up of AT LEAST 2 things(flour and water). The "crust" of Autism is social interaction. Josh meets 4 ingredients. The "tomato" of Autism is Communicative skills. Josh meets 2(the other 2 he is too young to test for). The "toppings" of autism are patterns of behavior. Josh meets 3 of these. As our doctor said, he not only meets the basic requirements, he makes up a very tasty pizza. It was hard to hear the words, to have an official diagnosis. It was as though she burst the balloon of hope and replaced it with harsh reality. Nobody wants their child to struggle, it hurts to know that they will face difficulty. But our wonderful new doctor reminded me several times that this is ONLY the beginning. We are starting out in a good place. Josh has made improvements and has shown that up to this point he has responded well to therapies. He has as much potential as any other child, this IS his normal! I know that God will give us wisdom and guide our steps as we make decisions. I can't really explain my emotions right now, they are both very positive and very negative all at once. I've never really been here before. I do ask that you pray for Marvin especially right now. He has always thought this was all in my head, so now he is faced with the fact that it is not. It is confirmed by a specialist who knows what they are talking about. He is where I was a month ago. A place that is dark and not at all fun. I am praying that he will find the same comfort and peace that I have in the grace filled God that we serve. As for the future? We have already started the endless paperwork to get Josh the things he needs. I've talked to our local school, who will be in charge of meeting his "special needs". We have applied for the Navy's EFMP(Exceptional Family Member Program) which ensures that Josh always has what he needs(so they won't send us to crazy places that have no services available!) and also opens up a ton of other services we can use for him. This diagnosis does not change who Josh is(maybe explains some things!), it just provides a good starting point. Please be in prayer as we make decisions about what types of therapies and care Joshua gets. Please pray for rest and peace for all of us! This is not what we would have chosen for our boy, but it is what it is and we will work from here on forward. We follow a God that has plans for Joshua. Just as my mommy gut knew there was a problem, it also screams that we will be okay, that he will be okay!!!

A Big, Jumbled Mess!

Sometimes, it is hard to figure out where to start after I've been away from the blog for so long! I spent several days last weeks away from the blog world to kind of reconnect with the "real" world and my favorite subjects to write about...my kids! Then we were gone all weekend having fun. The last 2 days I have started about 4 different posts, but just couldn't seem to find the right place to start! SO, I decided that I'll just do a quick update to bring you up to speed and stay on track from here on out!

*Marvin got a new car! A race car according to the boys. They are VERY excited. I'm just a little embarrassed to drive it, as you see, I'm more a minivan girl than a bright blue race car girl! I have found it fun to give my wonderful husband a hard time about his new purchase. I have affectionately named the car Moby...as in Moby Dick. It has a huge "whale tail" on the back(race car style). I crack up every time he pulls into the garage because his low front end scrapes the end of our very steep driveway EVERY single time. However, the man that I love is really excited about it, so I can embrace Moby as I chuckle to myself!

*Onto other Marvin news...he is now a college graduate! Yep, that is right. You see, he finished his last class about 2 months ago by correspondence. He was sure he had failed the class. He only finished a third of his final before the test timed out. Not great chances after that. So, he has asked his professor for his ending grade a few times and kept checking back. But, because we both thought it was no chance of passing, we didn't stay right on it. The longer it took to get the grade, the longer it would be before we had to face him having to take the class over. Well, he found out late last week that he passed with a C-! WHAT?! So, now he just has to turn in all of his paperwork and request his diploma! YEAH! Oh, it is a Bachelors in Nuclear Engineering if you are curious! I am so proud of him!

*We are enjoying summertime around here. The kids and I go from one park to the other, every so often throwing in the zoo or the mall play place to add a little spice! School is done for the year and it is SO nice to have a break from the planning and organizing and work that it takes. Don't get me wrong, I love homeschooling, it is just nice to have a break! We plan to start back up again in late August. School in Washington doesn't start until September, but we are going to spend 2 weeks in October visiting my dad during his fur low from Afghanistan and I don't want to worry about school during that time!

*Josh has an appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician tomorrow morning. He is much approved from just after his sickness, but he is still having issues. The no dairy thing has really seemed to help him. We shall see if he fits somewhere on the Autism Spectrum or if there is something else that he fits. I'm just not sure. I've done so much research and I really have no answers. He fits into a lot of things, but none of them are a perfect fit. Does that make sense? I just know that it is hard to watch my man struggle with so much and not be able to do anything!

*The gluten free diet is going well. I am also proud to say that I have had not even a drop of Diet Coke in over 3 days!!!!! I had a bit at the zoo on Saturday, but haven't had it in the house since last Wednesday! That is a whole week!!!! I am no longer having real withdrawal symptoms and am happy to be over this huge hurdle. I feel more healthy already!

I told it is would be a big jumbled mess of thoughts! I had to do it though or this blog would just sit here, me not knowing where to even begin. I will be back later to add pictures to this blog, so you might want to check back tomorrow, but right now I need to clean up our lunch mess and get dressed. Yes, you heard correctly, I am still in my jammies. What can I say, I love summer time!

A Day at the Lake!

It has been HOT here. So, when a good friend invited us to the lake they live on, we jumped at the opportunity! Let me tell you, it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! We had such a great time, staying cool and enjoying friends. I am sure there will be several days at this spot with these friends to come this summer and I cannot wait!

The boys and their best buddies take a log to float in the water

Having a blast!

Checking things out!

Abby and her funny face!

Sarah bear

The whole gang

Josh in his element! Filling a bucket! Sarah helped for a bit.

sliding fun!

Abby showing off my great parental skills...by herself at the end of the pier.
Don't worry, she only stayed long enough for the picture!

Who knew Gluten Free could be so good?

When we were looking into this big change for our family, I was resigned to be stuck eating tasteless cardboard for the rest of our lives. A sacrifice that I was willing to make to help Josh in any way we can, but not one I was excited about. Oh, how very wrong I was!!! There is so much available now that we don't really miss anything. I am learning to bake our own bread, cookies, brownies. Yes, they are definitely not as easy as those neatly packaged, perfect looking treats I have always bought from the store, but there is a certain satisfaction to doing it myself. I am certainly no Betty Croker...YET...but I'm working on it, and it may come by the time I'm a grandmother! Dinners have brought on a whole new realm for us too! We had fallen into a very boring rut. One that happened to be loaded with gluten. So, we had to start from scratch. We looked up a ton of recipes and changed things around, made them exciting. Who knew, gluten free and exciting could go together! Take this, dinner from last night. Marvin grilled Pork chops in a wonderful rub(southwest style) and I made a new brown rice recipe! I was so impressed, I can't wait to try others! Followed by watermelon, I don't think it can get much better than that!

Cheesy Brown Rice

1 1/4 cups brown rice
2 3/4 cups chicken broth
1/2 red pepper, diced
1/2 red onion, diced
2tbsp. olive oil
1 cup raw goats cheese(mild cheddar)

combine rice and chicken broth and bring to a boil on medium heat. When it boils, turn to low heat, cover and let simmer for 40-45minutes. In a skillet, put diced peppers, onions, and olive oil. Cook on medium/high until veggies are just tender. Add to rice(olive oil remaining in pan as well). Stir in cheese and serve warm.

It was our favorite recipe so far! Very good!

Bubbles!!!!

It has been GORGEOUS here(which is what has led to the lack of blogging!) and we are LOVING every minute. We have splashed in the water table, played at the park and popped a TON of bubbles(literally, a TON!). In fact, Abby has learned to blow her own sweet little bubbles. She learned just yesterday! Please ignore the gross snot in the following pictures!

Michael the patient teacher is showing the girls how to blow bubbles

They are trying REALLY hard

THERE it is, Abby's first ever bubble!

She's got the hang of it now!

Abby is a bubble pro, now to teach Sarah...

We are well on our Gluten free, pasteurized dairy free diet. We have found that it is a lot easier than we ever dreamed. It means no fast food stops, but I think that is for the best! I just plan ahead and pack food if we will be gone over lunch time. Took some getting used to, but now that we have found a bit of a comfy rut, it is going well. I baked yesterday for the first time in a long time(maybe my entire life!) because I could not find gluten free bread already made(other than the one that was $8 a loaf! NOT gonna happen!). I did find some great mixes and also some gluten free all purpose flour. So, I'm just experimenting to find the best recipe/mix for bread. Sandwiches make up a HUGE part of the kids' diets, we have really missed the good old peanut butter and jelly! I have even found cheese made with raw goat milk! AND, it tastes good! We also got a juicer. I cannot even believe how many fruits and vegetables can go into a glass of fresh made juice! My kids have always been good about eating fruits, but veggies have been a bit difficult lately. They still get plenty of whole fruits and veggies, but I feel good knowing that they are getting tons of great vitamins every day this way. I am feeling tons of energy from it as well. The guinea pigs love the left over pulp too! Speaking of guinea pigs, it is time to go clean their cage...AGAIN! Fun times!