Parenting is Tough Stuff!

It has been a long while since I've updated about the kids, especially Josh and the choices we are making about little man. We sat down with all the team that evaluated Josh through the local school and they were thinking exactly what we have been. That he is no longer fitting the Autism category, but that he does have significant delays and Sensory issues. The problem with not having a specific diagnosis is that it makes it hard to have a specific plan for him. There are no clear cut answers as to what will help and what will hinder. We all agree that he has very big social deficits and so we have decided to put him into the Special Needs Preschool program here in our local school system. Since we made it, I have been up many nights analyzing that decision. Oh, how I wish each child came with a detailed instruction book. On October 30, do this. I would feel so much better if I wasn't the one making decisions that will effect my child for life. You see, in the past few weeks, we moved Josh into the same room with Sam and Michael. Since we did that, he has really become one of the big boy. He sees himself as one of the guys and they have brought him into their very close bonds. It has been really great for me to watch as they all have embraced each other. Now we are going to send Josh away for 4 hours 4 days a week while the 2 big guys stay here together. I just hope that they don't lose these new relationships. The whole reason we decided to send him into the Preschool setting is because of the social inability to interact with his peers. It seems that that has begun here at home and I really hate to break that doing the thing that we had hoped would really help. The other thing that makes me nervous is that we are throwing him into this pit of germs at what seems to be the peek of Swine Flu season. I am terrified that he will get it and that he will bring it back into the house and infect everyone else as well. He has never been in Daycare or other group settings except church and I feel like we are just painting a target on our little man's head. We went to meet his teachers this week and they are truly sweet ladies. I really think he can thrive there. He is supposed to start on Monday. I spoke with the school Psychologist this afternoon and shared with her all my concerns. She said that she trusts our judgment and that if the class isn't the set up for him and we see it having detrimental effects on the relationships he has finally made here at home, we can stop and reevaluate what is the best choice, we do have other options. Please pray that we would have wisdom in our decisions here. Parenting is so tough! Then, yesterday, Sam woke up taking really deep breaths over and over again. I was concerned because I feel the need to do that when my asthma acts up. I asked him if he was feeling short of breath. He said no, he just felt like taking a deep breath. Another decision. Sam has always had issues with tics. When he was 3.5, he started with a blinking tic. It went away on it's own a few months later. A couple of months after that, he started with a tic where he opened his mouth really big at odd times, sometimes repeatedly. That resolved on its own as well. After a short time, he had one in which he would kinda hum periodically, especially when he was trying to talk to us, but at other times as well. That one went away and then he got one where he'd stick out his tongue really far. Again, it went away, are you seeing a pattern? They have always cleared up within a month or so, sometimes a bit longer. Now, it seems, he has another. He does it often, even while sitting and seems to be fine otherwise. I watched while he slept last night and there are no other signs of asthma issues at all. So, we are chalking it up to another tic. And, it seems, we might need to get this checked out eventually. Why, oh why, can't parenting just be easy? It sure seemed easy before I was one!