EEG

Not something I ever thought I'd have to see my child need. My friend, Danielle, watched the rest of my crew since Marvin is on duty today(that means 24 hours on the boat, which they do every 4th day). Danielle's hubby is also a nuke and is on a sub here, so we do a lot together when we are spouseless(I don't think that is a real word, but I'm using it anyway!). She has 3 little ones and is pregnant with their 4th, we have a lot in common:). Josh was thrilled that he and I were going on a date, he didn't seem hindered that it was a date at the doctor. We have been talking about the magic stickers all night and morning and he was really excited for them. He loved being the only one there, no one to fight with to push the elevator buttons, and he did push every one of them! He got to bring bunny, who usually has to stay in the car, so he was in heaven. That was quickly over when he saw the tape measure. He was a bit nervous, but I put him on my lap and he sat brave and still. We laughed about coloring his head, and he even smiled a few times, albeit a nervous smile. Then it was time to attach the leads. He was not sure, but since we had not hurt him up to that point, he tolerated the first one. He was a pro after that. I was so proud. I wish I had thought to bring my camera. He rocked those wires! He looked pretty funny with so many wires attached to his head, but he did really good. They recorded for 30 minutes and had him do different things. Sit still, relax and close his eyes, watch a strobe light(which he thought was hilarious!), and try to blow a little blower(those things that look like a mini windmill). He was done by that point, he blew for maybe 20 seconds and then refused to look at us after that. He was supposed to blow that thing for 2 minutes, but we did what we could, the last thing I wanted to do was to traumatize him any further. When he let us know he was done, we quit. Hopefully there is enough to get a good reading. I did not notice a seizure while they were doing the test, which is a good thing! I spent a good portion of time researching absence seizures last night as I had never heard of them before, and I am no longer terrified of that word. Even if he is having them(which I'm pretty sure he is), they do not cause any lasting effects at all, just momentary check outs. Most of the time they are outgrown with time. So, I'm much relieved by that knowledge. We should have the results of the EEG by the end of tomorrow. I can also schedule his appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician then too! I'll keep you all informed of what is going on! Thank you so much for praying. I am 100% sure that the only way my Josh made it through this thing today is your prayers! He would not stand on the scale yesterday and today he was okay with tons of leads and wires attached to his head and shoulders. THAT, my friends, is ONLY God! I am in love with my Savior. He has not let me slip even once during this crazy confusing time. It would be so easy to throw my fists up at Him, and at times in the last couple of weeks I've been tempted! It amazes me that He loves me through that, He holds me through that. He loves me enough to dry my tears as a loving Father, He loves me enough to hold me close even as I beat Him on the chest and scream WHY! He catches me when I crumple to my knees in defeat, giving my self and my children to Him once again in brokenness. I am in total awe of my God, of His faithfulness, even when I am tempted to run the other way. I am so thankful that He is so much more faithful than I am, and that He loves me through it all. He knows that I am but a jar made of clay, I have been broken, but I can feel His strong hands gathering me up ever so gently. I pray that when He is done, I will be a usable vessel for Him. I know without a doubt that my Josh is in those same, very capable hands, and because of that, I am at peace.